What's It Good For - Part II

For ten months now, I’ve allowed the world to peer over my shoulder. Like a kid in a classroom, wanting to be friends with the pretty girl in the adjacent desk (and allowing her to copy off his paper), I’ve shared my life, my thoughts, my struggles, my faults, and my victories. I’ve shared things that I’d hoped you’d find inspirational, and thoughts that I knew were sure to cause discomfort. I’ve shared a lot, not all, but a lot. Sometimes my sharing has strayed over into something akin to a selfishness and narcissism. I’ve allowed it to be acceptable for me to, at times, violate the privacy of others, just so I could get my jollies out of exploiting some good material. I now recognize it for what it is, wrong. In the process of flexing my still weak literary muscles, I’ve done damage. Marietta has suffered greatly as a result of several embarrassing passages that I just needed to write. I’m now sorry and kicking myself for having been so self-absorbed, and inconsiderate.

All in all, however, I like the blog. Some day I’ll print it out and bind it in some nice leather covers and just have it up on the shelf. There’s so much content that I simply haven’t read since the day I wrote it; it’ll be fun to revisit it one day. For now, I feel like closing this chapter, along with the blog. It’s time; the story has run its course. The one post that I had hoped to close my adventure with may never come. It was the one announcing a wedding, and maybe another one announcing the birth of a first child. In obeying the call from the blog to “feed me”, I missed the part about personal stuff being just that, personal. I truly hope to one day be able to proudly and joyously announce “We’re Married!” and “It’s a Girl!” but at this moment the future remains uncertain, much like it was when I began.

In one week the blog will be going off line for good. What began largely as a personal journal has grown to something larger than I now care to maintain. I have a life to conduct, without the constant call of “feed me”, and without having to share the content of my school paper, so to speak. It’s time to focus my energies on other, more real endeavors. It’s just time.

I’d like to thank everyone who has participated in posting comments and sending emails, and I’m looking forward to replying to any emails that come in to me in the future, it’s good to keep in touch with friends and family alike. My email is bobviens@gmail.com.

OK, so that’s it. This will be my final post before pulling the plug on Saturday night at midnight, Eastern time. It's been fun, mostly. No tears, just gladness for all the good that surely lay ahead.

Best of luck to you all, and as always…

Cheers!

~B

I Am Not Alone

I have something important to say...

...but everything I try to write simply comes out wrong. 

Until I'm able to produce with the same ease as my other posts, I'll be quiet.

I've arrived at a significant realization over the last several days and I want to shout it to the world, but nothing's coming out onto the page. I feel paralyzed. 

Waiting and listening, I am...

~Bob

P.S. I love Marietta, and want to spend my life with her. What was I thinking?

What's It Good For?

What started as a travel and what's up with Bob blog, has evolved into something that seems to carry it's own responsibility. The blog says "feed me", and in those times when I have thoughts or feelings that I need to get out of my head and onto paper for me to look at, I comply. Other times when I'm feeling happy about something and just want to share, the posts are generally easy to read and usually easy to write as well. The difficult ones, when I appear to have something to work out, are also "easy " to write, often pouring out of me more easily than all the rest, but they're often fairly difficult to read. I'm sure the responses out there range from confusion (wondering what the heck I'm getting at) to horror ("I can't believe he's saying this stuff out loud"), to sympathy, to pity, to appreciation for my candor, to sadness over my lack of a need for privacy. I can see the comments that are offered in response to the posts, but I'll never know for sure the feelings of those who never comment. I do know that my blog has had an effect in some way on the course of my life over the last ten months and I can feel it tugging on me now, it says "feed me". I'm compelled by the call to feed, but also by the feeling that there are eyes upon me waiting for my next move. At this moment, it feels somehow paralyzing. My response to the blog's call today is simply to write about it rather than to write to, or more accurately for, it. So, here goes...

Since last May when the blog started, it's been visited by 1519 individual viewers, with over 11,000 visits. At it's height in mid-August it was averaging 65 visits a day with the current number being right around 30. This month, the blogs been viewed just under 1,000 times by 146 people in mostly the US and Canada. Not huge, by any standards. I do at times wonder who are these people who find this so interesting? I know some of the regulars, by their comments and emails, but that only accounts for maybe a dozen of them. Would it be better if instead of posting to a public blog, I just found out who was reading and limited the blog to them? I can actually do that.

I agree with those that are uncomfortable with my airing of the dirty laundry, so to speak, on such a public forum, and I'm seriously considering making accommodations for these concerns. Then again I also think that such a move might remove some of the "feed me" factor from my blogging schedule. Maybe not knowing is part of the fun, it's definitely part of the danger. The other obvious option here is to have a happy, mostly trouble free, life where the need to purge my woes onto paper would be unnecessary and also unheard of. That's my first choice and really exactly what I was shooting for.

It's been great having this forum to, at times, work out my issues, but really, to quote someone special, what's it good for?

~B

In the End...

In the end, we're all self contained; each of us a singular, enclosed, hermetically sealed being, able to sustain life on our own. The heart beats, the blood circulates, food is converted into energy, and the waste is collected and jettisoned. The lungs pull in air, extract oxygen and then expel carbon dioxide, the eyes peer out and join the other senses to provide watch. In cooperation with the brain, instructions are generated and transmitted to the drive and navigation systems to ensure a safe and unimpeded journey. It all works independently, aside from the need for an external food source, which is consumed using the hands, thus eliminating (in fully functioning units) the need for outside support; we feed ourselves. We breathe on our own, we walk from place to place, we see, we feel, we smell, we stand and observe, we push away from danger and harm, and we sleep when it's needed. We are truly independent. We are truly self contained.

I fondly remember the palpable sense of freedom I experienced on the road last summer. How it felt to glide along on two wheels with everything I needed to survive firmly attached to my bicycle, and moving along with me, under my own power. It was incredible and yet very real. I long for that feeling of joy and adventure. It's one puzzle piece that I know, deep in my heart, fits perfectly. I won't forget that. I've learned a lot about myself, and life, and love, and the world since embarking on my journey, though I believe the lessons and understanding I've gained as a result of knowing Marietta, stand somehow above the rest. I shall always be thankful and ever mindful of the great and lasting gift she provided me. That too, I hope to never forget.

In the end though, I remain self contained, in my mind speeding along a quiet road, reaching for my water bottle, grateful to be alive. I take a drink, slide the bottle back into place, and smile.

Cheers, from back in the States!

~B

Leaving On A Jet Plane

I'm fly tomorrow on US Air from Munich to Philly to Boston (oh, my! *). Please indulge me one more time for one last video. It's totally cliche, and not at all biographical, except for the plane ride and the melancholy, but alas... BTW, most people think this is a Peter Paul and Mary song. They had the hit, JD wrote it and does, in my opinion, the best rendition. Enjoy! ~B

* If you haven't seen The Wizard of OZ, rent it! I need to stop doing that.

Dear Amy...

Hi Sis, 

Sorry for the confusing videos. They both seemed apropo of my situation, at the time anyway, (the High Fidelity one was a tad over the top,  granted, but it's a great song and one of the best movies ehhh-ver!) I was bummed last night and availing myself fully of the last opportunity to enjoy real German beer, at least for the foreseeable future. I'm sure that had something to do with my video selections. 

So here's the deal...I'm headin' home. 

I could have used the more obvious song by Daughtry - Home, but that would have been too obvious and even more over the top than The Killers selection. Sure, despite that fact, I could still have opted for Daughtry and hammered the point home, and at the same time, give a nostalgic shout-out to Gina back in Nova Scotia (huge Daughtry fan), but really that song, as great as it is, is sooo played out, and the reference to home as the place "where your love has always been enough for me" doesn't quite fit. Not that I don't feel loved at "home" in Turners Falls, I do...sure, but that's really not the point, ya know? So I went with the closing song from Local Hero. There's this bittersweet ending to the movie where Mac gets sent home from the

beautiful coast of Scotland by his boss Burt Lancaster. It's a sad but appropriate conclusion; Mac really loved that little fishing village by the sea and the special people there and how different it was from the life grind back in the States, and BOOM, it was over. The fictional town of Ferness, with it's beautiful landscape and solid stone houses, rich with history and romance, and BOOM...over. Burt sends him home, just like that. I think that was the better choice of videos, plus it was a lot easier to listen to for anyone not so thrilled with my rockin' sensibilities (music-wise, that is).

So, sigh... I'm coming home, mid-week I guess, just waiting for the right flight deal. I have a bunch of stuff to haul back with me. Not only do I have my jam-packed backpack (Marietta used to get backpack and sleeping bag interchanged - very cute, and the same thing I did when I was a kid, weird, huh?), but I also have the big duffel bag that Mom helped me pack just a two weeks ago, and I have a bike in a big box too, plus a bunch of stuff, clothes etc. that I got over here, Geez! Well, the bike is really not worth much, and Chris thinks its crap (which it's not!), but I'm still attached to it, so I guess I'll have two checked bags and a bike in a box and my carry-on. Doug's gonna be real glad to see me standing there waiting for him at the airport. Speaking of which, I'll be flying into Logan, probably with a layover in Philadelphia. I originally hated the Philly airport, until I saw the international terminal that is, very nice.

So that's the deal. Time to get a job! I have my resume all spiffed up, check it out. Work, yeah... about that. What's the next great career move for ol' Bobby Boy? I'm open to suggestions. I have had a lot of time to ponder and reflect on my life and how it's evolved. Where I went wrong, how I've made the most of this adventure and how I've handled adversity, and also how I've been lucky and how I've grown in the process. Anyway, I did kind of a life assessment last week and came up with a bunch of stuff for what I wanted my life to look and feel like. I also set down on paper, so to speak, the things I did not want for me, that proved invaluable in clarifying my thoughts surrounding this most recent decision. This is some of what I came up with for personal goals...

Pretty basic stuff really. You'd think this was all part of the required Human 101 curriculum, but I've unfortunately had to figure this one out on my own, even though you, my wonderful sister, may have tried to steer me right into several of these revelations at many different points in my upbringing (hey wait, I'm "older" than you, right?) It really helped me to do this exercise, if only to get the simple stuff out of my head and onto the page where I can see it, and live with it for awhile, and tweak it as needed, and finally say "yup, that's me". So I did it, feels good. It doesn't make the decision to leave Augsburg any easier.

I think, aside from whatever else was going on over here, the thought that I could successfully conduct my life without the foundation of a steady paycheck and a clear daily routine, in a place where, really, I don't speak the language, was somewhat naive and gigantically optimistic. I think you probably agree; another one of those things you probably already tried telling me. You're so smart. OK, Smartie Pants, what's next? I think I need to impose on your hospitality once again and re-occupy the futon couch in the cellar (I know, it's a really nice cellar) until I can get back on my feet. I'll find a way to get a suitable winter bike when I'm back so I can get to whatever work I land. I miss doing that. My friend Doug told me yesterday... "Just remember this....In the beginning there was a bike, and it was good". So true.

I'll keep you posted on when so you can arrange the suitable homecoming parade or whatever seems appropriate for loved ones returning from Germany. I'm sure it'll be grand.

Lot's of love, kiss the girls for me...

~Bobby

And while we're at it...

This is a song from Local Hero, another one of my favorite movies. You should rent this one too!

If your ears are sore from "This Seems Fitting*...", this should help. Stay tuned... Cheers! ~B

This Seems Fitting*...

* More the images and music than the actual lyrics. If you haven't seen High Fidelity, rent it. This post is probably not appropriate for young viewers...

Crank it UP!

Miscellaneous Thoughts On A Windy Day

I'm safe and sound back in Augsburg Germany and life resumes. My German is coming along really well or, as we say in Germany, sehr gut. I stumbled upon a language course by a gentleman named Michel Thomas that has proven to be extremely effective. I have 15 of his CD's installed on my little green iPod Shuffle that I bought from my Niece Maddy. I keep it attached to my hip, or at least tucked in my pocket, so I'm able to learn German whenever my brain is in the mood. I'm only up to CD #4, but am already forming complete sentences and even able to string together a series of thoughts and questions. I never thought it could be so easy. 

I'm having a coffee and wanted something sweet to go along with it, so I opened the Kinder Egg that Marietta's Mom gave me on my return. Kinder Eggs are regular sized chocolate eggs with a smaller capsule inside containing a surprise, they're great. Inside my egg today was a Smart Car toy!!! You can't actually get Kinder Egg's in America because of the regulations against toys with small parts, especially inside of something you're supposed to eat like the chocolate egg featured in this particular treat. In Germany, all you have to do is print a warning on the label and off you go. If it says "contains small parts, not intended for children under three", they mean it, and it's taken as fact that you've listened and that you fully intend to comply. In America, people are allowed, and even encouraged, to be stupid (two words...McDonald's Coffee). Anyway, Kinder Eggs are great. The chocolate is really good and the toy inside is top quality. If you're old enough to remember when a box of Cracker Jacks contained something worth discovering, you'll understand the allure of the Kinder Egg. 

We had a nice train ride up to Munich yesterday and spent several hours walking around the city and being tourists. Southern Germany was experiencing extremely high winds yesterday and we got literally pushed around by the wind a couple of times while we were exploring. Munich is a over 1000 younger than Augsburg, but it's still dripping with monuments to the Renaissance. It's a bustling city in every sense of the word. The Hauptbahnhof, or Central Train Station, is gigantic and filled with wonderful shops and vendors, and people, lot's of people. Munich is very nice, if not a little too windy, but I still prefer the pace and feel of Augsburg. We didn't take the time to visit any of Munich's museums, but will get around to that another time. 

Marietta's in town at an appointment, and I'm taking the opportunity to get caught up on some of my Internetting. But now, it's back to my iPod for some more German. Sprechen Sie Deutsch? - Ja!

Tschüss,

~B

Back to Bavaria

All is well. I'm flying on US Air today back to Germany. I'm looking forward getting back. My storage unit is empty and I'm down to that illusive tiny footprint. Saying goodbye to friends and family again is hard, but it's still a small world what with the internet and all. Many thanks to my Mom and Dad and my Sister and her family for putting up with me. Oh, and thanks Mom for the brownies. That's all for now. God Speed (not really sure what that actually means). Anyway, Cheers! ~B

44th Time's the Charm

Truth is, I'm not feeling particularly "bloggy" lately, so forgive my inadequate volume of inspired thought. One thing that I have been feeling inspired about though, is keeping up with the new American President. First of all, HOW IN THE WORLD did we manage to pull this off??? Former President Bush is back in Texas, and this time he's not just on vacation. President Obama is rapidly and surely undoing all of the nastiness the last President imposed on the country. I've been watching it; every morning I check in on the White House Website to see the latest Executive Orders and Presidential Memoranda issued the day before, and to marvel at how the President is keeping his nose pressed into the grindstone, really. I hate to resort to tired idioms, but damn (!) he's really serious about getting this job right. One of his first memoranda was one designed to clarify and strengthen the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA). In a complete turnabout from the doctrines of the former administration, the opening paragraph reads:

"A democracy requires accountability, and accountability requires transparency. As Justice Louis Brandeis wrote, 'sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants.' In our democracy, the Freedom of Information Act (FOIA), which encourages accountability through transparency, is the most prominent expression of a profound national commitment to ensuring an open Government. At the heart of that commitment is the idea that accountability is in the interest of the Government and the citizenry alike."

I could not think of a more fitting message to convey to a weary, beaten, and discouraged people than one expressing loudly that, here on this spot, and today, on this the second day of a new Presidency, the tide HAS turned. The morandum goes on to state:

"The Freedom of Information Act should be administered with a clear presumption: In the face of doubt, openness prevails. The Government should not keep information confidential merely because public officials might be embarrassed by disclosure, because errors and failures might be revealed, or because of speculative or abstract fears. Nondisclosure should never be based on an effort to protect the personal interests of Government officials at the expense of those they are supposed to serve."

Poetry! Again, how did we manage to pull this one off?

I wonder how "Dub'yah" and "Darth Vader" feel about all this...

Anyway...Cheers!

~B

What I'm doing right now...

Maddy, Eliza, Emma, & Bob

Anyone Need A Little Inspiration?

Steve Jobs, the co-founder of Apple, has taken a leave of absence as the company's CEO to focus on health issues. In 2004 he survived cancer and there is much speculation that this situation is just as serious. I've been a devoted follower of Steve Jobs (as are many Apple fans) for years now, and wish him all the best. Steve is also responsible for Pixar's success. They're the animation studio that made Toy Story and many other great animated features. Get well soon Steve!!!

Here's a video of Steve giving a commencement address in 2005. If it's inspiration you need, this is just the ticket. Enjoy! ~B

Augsburg Photo Album

 

We had a nice time in Augsburg yesterday getting some of the photos that I'd neglected taking before now. We'll be touring some more important places today including the Opera House tonight (The Barber of Seville!). Fortunately, I'll only be gone from this place for 3 weeks, but I'm missing it already. Check out the album, click here. ~B

An Alter Boy Revisited

I was born in the small town of Turners Falls Massachusetts in November of 1961. That seems to have been a pretty good time to pop into the world. As MAD Magazine pointed out on its cover for the March 1961 issue, this was the first "upside-up" year—i.e., one in which the numerals that form the year look the same as when they're rotated upside down—since 1881, and the last year until 6009* (pretty cool, huh?). JFK was the new President, Elvis was on the charts and making movies, television shows like Leave It To Beaver and The Andy Griffith Show were still in black and white and received with an antenna mounted on the roof (it was even controlled by something called a rotor that turned the antenna depending on the location of the station you had just selected), and technology as a common household appliance was at least a good thirty years in the future. Life was simple then. 

As a kid growing up in the 60's, you had all the time in the world to play and discover, and to enjoy the wonder and innocence that seems to be absent in so much of young life today. A lot of my childhood, for me, seems engulfed in a mist (I really wish I recalled more of it than I do), but I do remember crisp summer mornings outside, ready for a full day of play. (When I finally shuffle off this mortal coil, I think I'd like the afterlife to possess that same feeling of purity and contentment that defined my early life on Hillside Avenue). An integral part of growing up in small town Turners Falls was going to church. My family attended Saint Mary's, the "Irish" church among the three Catholic churches in town. We weren't actually Irish, I think maybe it was just the "cool" church to attend, it was the nicest building and besides, there's something about "Irish" and "Catholic" that just seem to go together; Bing Crosby as Father O'Malley in Going My Way, Pat O'Brien as Father Jerry Connolly in Angels With Dirty Faces, and there's just something so wonderfully charming and humble about John Wayne's Irish character in The Quiet Man. Late 1961 was also right in the sweet spot of Camelot with the new President and his Irish Catholic roots. Actually, I think my family started attending Saint Mary's long before the sixties, but it seems so fitting that we were there at that particular moment in American life. We attended Mass usually every Sunday morning (sometimes on Saturday afternoon), often with my Father, many Sunday mornings he'd get up early to attend the 7:00 Mass. My brother Bill would usually get up with him and I can remember being simultaneously envious of Bill for getting up to attend the early Mass with Dad, and being way too comfortable in bed to consider the option of going along. Once I was old enough I could always opt for a later Mass at 8:30 or 10:30. Seven AM Mass with Dad usually meant breakfast out afterwards, that was the kicker. 

As soon as I was old enough to participate in the service as an Alter Boy, I jumped at the chance. The job came with a uniform, and you got to be right in the action instead of watching (and sometimes nodding off) on the sidelines. Many of my best friends were also signing up. In addition to the benefit of participating instead of watching, and the cool uniform, we also got to go on trips to see the Red Sox, or the Patriots, or visit the occasional monastery. Again, it was a great time to be a kid. 

I mention the church thing and the simple time to grow up, because it brings me to the early seventies when, for some reason, there seemed to be an abundance of religious films including Godspell, Jesus Christ Superstar, and Brother Sun, Sister Moon. I recall the latter two as being somewhat significant to me. Brother Sun is about the life of Saint Francis of Assisi, one of the more popular figures in the Catholic bubble gum card collector set, and the inspiration for a great deal of though, for me, in the last 24 hours. The life, in belief and practice, of Saint Francis is encapsulated in the Prayer of Saint Francis. Here's the closest translation from the original text penned in French...

The Prayer of Saint Francis

"O Lord, make me an instrument of Thy Peace!

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is discord, harmony;

Where there is doubt, faith; 

Where there is despair, hope; 

Where there is darkness, light, and 

Where there is sorrow, joy. 

Oh Divine Master, grant that I may not 

so much seek to be consoled as to console; 

to be understood as to understand; to be loved 

as to love; for it is in giving that we receive; 

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned; 

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life."

Although this prayer has largely come to be attributed to Saint Francis himself, it is more likely the work of another author intent on  honoring the Saint. The crux of his message, the author of the prayer and Saint Francis himself, is that we should strive every day to be a force for improving the human condition around us. Where there is hatred, we should instead bring love; where there is discord, harmony; instead of needing to be understood, we should instead strive to understand. The message and model that's been laid out for us, is that, when presented with a negative situation, we should all aspire to find it within ourselves to respond with something better. It's a simple message, and really isn't necessarily a religious one either. Sure, he's asking "God" for the guidance to respond with kindness and selflessness, but "God" applies differently to each one of us. For some, "God" might mean the intention to summon the strength from within. Inspiration applies uniquely to us all. 

As I recall, I once toyed with the idea of exchanging my cool Alter Boy uniform for some flashier Priest duds, but in the end, I was just too busy chasing girls to stay focussed. Eventually, as life got busier and more complicated, and the benefits and motivation of being an Alter Boy faded, I dropped out of the order, along with most of my friends. It would appear that the churchly tone of this post somewhat resembles a sermon that,  a better dressed version of my former Alter Boy self, might have delivered. If that's the case, then I should thank you now for indulging a childhood fantasy. Let's get 'er done: I mention Saint Francis this morning as a reminder to us all that, it is within each of us to bring something better to the lives and circumstances around us; to be a force for harmony, and peace, and understanding. It's within all of us to resist those old powerful forces, programmed into each of us, to react in kind; when offered anger or injury or discord, we so often react with exactly the same. Saint Francis tells us we should find it within ourselves (or from our higher powers) to rise above and choose to be better. To improve the human condition, if only with a word or a sentence or a gesture at a time. With this simple prayer, we're provided the instructions for living a happier and more harmonious life. Saint Francis provided the wisdom, it's up to us to do the rest. 

Cheers!

Father Bob

*Excerpt from Wikipedia

2X2L Calling CQ. 2X2L Calling CQ. 2X2L...

My Email inbox was completely empty today... not a single email... 

As I write this, I'm beginning to fear the worst. The news on the internet makes no mention of, what I fear, has happened to civilization. I do not yet know of the fate that has befallen the world and it's inhabitants, as it's dark now and will likely be morning before I know for sure. I fear what I may find. What has happened to the world? What has become of my family, and all the facebook notifications from friends writing on my wall? Even the junk mailers are quiet now; their servers, once used to pumping out terabytes of spam, are now silent, presumably victim to what I fear is nothing short of Armageddon. 

The end... is here... What have I to live for... if not...

Hey Kids, check out the Mercury Theatre's production of War of the Worlds, brought to you this and every week by Lucky Cornflakes. That's right, start every day with healthful and extra wholesome Lucky Cornflakes. you'll be glad you did!

And be sure to check out this website for lot's more old time radio fun!

Christmas In January

I got a nice surprise in the mail today from my kid sister Amy. A nice fat padded envelope containing a bunch of cards from my nieces Emma, Maddy, and Eliza, or as I like to call them Emma Louise Mayflower, Mullethead, and Mudflap (no idea where those all came from, but they stuck). They're the best nieces an uncle could ever wish for. And except for leaving the country unexpectedly (um...twice), I think I'm a pretty good uncle too. Once in response to a question of who her five favorite uncles were, Emma answered "Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, and Bobby". I guess that's a sound endorsement. I'm looking forward to seeing them in a week. I told Amy to count me in for some babysitting. And girls, what's the one rule when I babysit? 

That's right, No Whining! See ya soon... ~B

Um...

I'm just about to head back to bed. Just before 3am I awoke and ended up lying there for a good half hour. My stomach was feeling empty and I was debating whether or not to get up and grab some peanut butter and crackers, mainly so I could get back to sleep. Living in such close proximity to several churches makes one keenly aware of the passing time. The deciding factor was the thought to check email while I was having my snack. Nothing to report, all is well, the internet is still working, I'm still not feeling particularly sleepy, but I'm going back to bed anyway. 

Oh yeah, I'm flying from Munich to Boston on the 17th for a three week visit. That is all...

Ich bin ein Augsburger*

After a couple of weeks of anxiety and fears of the worst possible outcome, we had our appointment with the Auslanderbehorde, here in Augsburg, to file for my residency permit so I can reside and work in Augsburg with Marietta. We were told it would be a lengthy process with no guarantee of a positive outcome. Oh, boy! Instead, it ended up being no problem witha wait time for the permit of approximately one hour! Not, one month like we expected, but rather one hour. So, I have it! I don't have to leave Germany in a hurry to comply with any 90 day rule, and I can work when I'm ready. Right now, my main occupation is to become proficient in German, but at some point, I now know I can work. Phew! 

It feels good, actually a little scary too, since I'm technically no longer a tourist, but now a resident. Ich bin ein Augsburger! I'm sure I'll get used to it soon enough.

BTW, Augsburg is a REALLY beautiful city. I'm going to be posting more photos soon.

Prost! (that means Cheers!)

~B

*The title of this post is an all to obvious reference to the famous speech by JFK made in Berlin in 1963. You can learn more and listen to the actual recording by following this link. Good luck holding back the goosebumps, I know I can't. ~b

What's Next

So, the fact is, I like writing. My primary outlet for this, over the past year, has been this blog. It was originally started as a means of communicating my whereabouts and wellbeing with friends and family, mainly to bypass the need for multiple phone calls and emails. The posts and journal entries, for the most part, can be categorized in one, or a combination of the following ways: amusing, informational, therapeutic, or cathartic. Most of the posts have been about me and my travels, or me and my observations, or me and my issues. The common theme here, if you hadn't noticed, is me.

At times, I've dreamed about having the talent and determination, and even the subject material or life experience to write something greater than this meager collection of short entries; that I could actually write a whole book (feel free to roll your eyes as needed). Much of what I've written has been inspiring to me. I've looked back on some of the posts, and having forgotten that I'd even written a particular entry, think "Wow, that's really good. I like how I wrote that. I should do more". But, a collection of blog entries about a guy who leaves his safe familiar life for one of uncertainty and adventure (even though it is on his own continent and in his own native tongue), seems somewhat trivial and self serving. Who cares about most of this stuff, anyway? How much navel gazing can one person, as a reader, be expected to endure? And, how many yawns have I inspired in the blogosphere? The posts about what route I took or what I had for breakfast are just filler. For me, the thought that someone out there might be navigating to LuckyCornflake and seeing the same post that has been there for a week and a half, makes me uncomfortable; so I write about whatever. But, what is it about the other posts that make me proud to be the author? Is it that I've written about something beyond myself and more universal to the human condition? Is it even possible to do that without reflecting back on one's self? If it is, I haven't figured out how. I'm still thinking in short posts, just enough to clear the thoughts out of my head to make room for new ones. 

So there it is, what's next? Like so much in my life, I'm aware of my lack of a proper foundation that defines clearly "What's NOW", so I'm constantly wondering "what's next?". What's next is, I head back to the States to wait for my visa and Augsburg residency permit to process. My time has run out on the tourist visa waiver that I'm here on, and I need to get that in order to be able to return. I'll be in the States for at least a month and will need to find gainful employment. Whether dollars or euros, I need some. I'll have more time to brush up on my Deutsch and maybe even write a page or two (I'd also like to learn Salsa dancing - why not?). I need to look outside of myself for most of that, and see what I discover. 

Since being here in Germany, I've learned a great deal about myself, and hopefully that will translate into even better content and a clearer vision, for my writing and for my life. We'll see...

Anyway...from Augsburg, on nice sunny day, Cheers!

~B 

Happiness is a Warm Meat Pie

Meat Pie, more formally known as Tourtière, is a traditional French Canadian dish served on New Years Day in the Canadian Province of Quebec and in homes in the U.S, especially New England, where French Canadian ancestry prevails. I grew up in such a home. 

New Years Day at 21 Hillside Ave is special. It's part holiday (without the actual weight of a Christmas or Thanksgiving), part casual family get together (drop in if you can), part storied tradition of our forefathers (this has been going on since long before I was around), and part football and TV-table feeding frenzy. I love Meat Pie! Just the mention of it starts my mouth to watering. The flakey tan crust, the smell of cloves and turnip filling the air, the kitchen windows wet with condensation as the cold air of the new year hangs still outside the glass. Meat Pie, with it's wonderful warm filling of ground pork and mashed potatoes, or the less popular just pork version, represents New Years for me. 

My folks start a couple of days ahead of time to prepare for the feast. There's Meat Pie, of course, at least the pork and potato version (I really like the ground pork only pie, but it's always less popular on the table, so Mom opts, on certain years, to refrain from making those in addition to the "regular", it is a lot of work after all. I haven't gotten word on the pie selection for this year).  Let's see, there's cubed carrot salad, and cubed beet salad, there's usually cole slaw and pickles and olives, there's turnip (hot and mashed) and, of course, there's cranberry sauce (the store bought kind, jellied with the can outline still visible as it sits, in all it's can shaped splendor, on the plate. None of that crappy homemade stuff you might find on some fancy less traditional tables). So, that's the Meat Pie experience. It's all laid out on the kitchen table. Grab a paper or plastic plate and fill 'er up. It's wonderful!

A few years ago, my folks were discussing whether or not to put the old tradition to bed. It's a lot of work, making the pies and the salads (all home made, by the way), and the cost of the ingredients, and what with having just gone through a similar family gathering only a week prior. 

Christmas at 21 Hillside is always a 25 or so person affair. It's just a few more people than the space was designed for, and probably well over the fire code and weight limits, especially after the meal's been consumed. This year, the gathering was held there on the Saturday following Christmas, since my Sisters are nurses and often one of them ends up working on the actual holiday, requiring a scramble to find an agreeable day for all to meet. I think it was just my Niece and Nephew that were unable to attend, and of course I here on the other side of the Atlantic (is it I or me? Hmm...). I phoned there right in the middle of the Yankee Swap and it sounded like the usual fun lively family gathering that I grew up with. I have a great family. 

Anyway, back to the idea of suspending the tradition. Well, I simply would not have it! I asked Mom for the recipes and announced that I (pronounced EYE!) was going to pick up the Meat Pie gauntlet and save the holiday. I was gong to Save the Meat Pie! Well, in the end Mom and Dad came to their senses, I think they had just heard enough whining from certain individuals, who shall remain nameless, about how they didn't like Meat Pie and something about "tasting like dirt" and "couldn't you please make something else?" At least that's how I remember it, I hope I'm recalling it correctly. 

So the tradition lives. In a way, I think I, and maybe even Mom, consider New Years Day, at least in a small way to be my holiday, at least that's part of the feel of it for me, I hope you'll allow me this one indulgence. I love traditions, and history, and family, and old photographs of the ancestors, and pictures of me when I was a kid growing up... in a house that serves Meat Pie, every New Years Day, without fail. It's a tradition dammit, maybe I should be doing it here. Maybe I can finally get that recipe from my Mom after all. Then again, there's no place like home, especially when there's Meat Pie in the oven.

From Augsburg Germany, Happy Meat Pie!

~B

Here's a little music for the holiday. 

We just watched the 2009 broadcast. Enjoy!

Unbelievable Welcome to 2009!

At 12:00, while the New Year's champagne glasses were clinking, with greetings of "Prost" and "Gutes Neues" (pronounced Goo-tes Noy-es, a.k.a. Happy New Year) still going around, the fireworks began. All over the city, fireworks! They were everywhere! The streets full of people, the bangs, pops and fizzles, and explosions of light literally everywhere. And on top of it all, every church bell in the city ringing at once! I've never seen anything like it, never. Where I come from, people go to see the fire works. Here, on New Years Eve in Augsburg, the fireworks are all around. 

We walked around, after lighting off our last battery of pyrotechnics, and marveled at the sight. I shall never forget it. 

Once again, Happy New Year! - Gutes Neues!

~B