Dear Amy...

Hi Sis, 

Sorry for the confusing videos. They both seemed apropo of my situation, at the time anyway, (the High Fidelity one was a tad over the top,  granted, but it's a great song and one of the best movies ehhh-ver!) I was bummed last night and availing myself fully of the last opportunity to enjoy real German beer, at least for the foreseeable future. I'm sure that had something to do with my video selections. 

So here's the deal...I'm headin' home. 

I could have used the more obvious song by Daughtry - Home, but that would have been too obvious and even more over the top than The Killers selection. Sure, despite that fact, I could still have opted for Daughtry and hammered the point home, and at the same time, give a nostalgic shout-out to Gina back in Nova Scotia (huge Daughtry fan), but really that song, as great as it is, is sooo played out, and the reference to home as the place "where your love has always been enough for me" doesn't quite fit. Not that I don't feel loved at "home" in Turners Falls, I do...sure, but that's really not the point, ya know? So I went with the closing song from Local Hero. There's this bittersweet ending to the movie where Mac gets sent home from the

beautiful coast of Scotland by his boss Burt Lancaster. It's a sad but appropriate conclusion; Mac really loved that little fishing village by the sea and the special people there and how different it was from the life grind back in the States, and BOOM, it was over. The fictional town of Ferness, with it's beautiful landscape and solid stone houses, rich with history and romance, and BOOM...over. Burt sends him home, just like that. I think that was the better choice of videos, plus it was a lot easier to listen to for anyone not so thrilled with my rockin' sensibilities (music-wise, that is).

So, sigh... I'm coming home, mid-week I guess, just waiting for the right flight deal. I have a bunch of stuff to haul back with me. Not only do I have my jam-packed backpack (Marietta used to get backpack and sleeping bag interchanged - very cute, and the same thing I did when I was a kid, weird, huh?), but I also have the big duffel bag that Mom helped me pack just a two weeks ago, and I have a bike in a big box too, plus a bunch of stuff, clothes etc. that I got over here, Geez! Well, the bike is really not worth much, and Chris thinks its crap (which it's not!), but I'm still attached to it, so I guess I'll have two checked bags and a bike in a box and my carry-on. Doug's gonna be real glad to see me standing there waiting for him at the airport. Speaking of which, I'll be flying into Logan, probably with a layover in Philadelphia. I originally hated the Philly airport, until I saw the international terminal that is, very nice.

So that's the deal. Time to get a job! I have my resume all spiffed up, check it out. Work, yeah... about that. What's the next great career move for ol' Bobby Boy? I'm open to suggestions. I have had a lot of time to ponder and reflect on my life and how it's evolved. Where I went wrong, how I've made the most of this adventure and how I've handled adversity, and also how I've been lucky and how I've grown in the process. Anyway, I did kind of a life assessment last week and came up with a bunch of stuff for what I wanted my life to look and feel like. I also set down on paper, so to speak, the things I did not want for me, that proved invaluable in clarifying my thoughts surrounding this most recent decision. This is some of what I came up with for personal goals...

Pretty basic stuff really. You'd think this was all part of the required Human 101 curriculum, but I've unfortunately had to figure this one out on my own, even though you, my wonderful sister, may have tried to steer me right into several of these revelations at many different points in my upbringing (hey wait, I'm "older" than you, right?) It really helped me to do this exercise, if only to get the simple stuff out of my head and onto the page where I can see it, and live with it for awhile, and tweak it as needed, and finally say "yup, that's me". So I did it, feels good. It doesn't make the decision to leave Augsburg any easier.

I think, aside from whatever else was going on over here, the thought that I could successfully conduct my life without the foundation of a steady paycheck and a clear daily routine, in a place where, really, I don't speak the language, was somewhat naive and gigantically optimistic. I think you probably agree; another one of those things you probably already tried telling me. You're so smart. OK, Smartie Pants, what's next? I think I need to impose on your hospitality once again and re-occupy the futon couch in the cellar (I know, it's a really nice cellar) until I can get back on my feet. I'll find a way to get a suitable winter bike when I'm back so I can get to whatever work I land. I miss doing that. My friend Doug told me yesterday... "Just remember this....In the beginning there was a bike, and it was good". So true.

I'll keep you posted on when so you can arrange the suitable homecoming parade or whatever seems appropriate for loved ones returning from Germany. I'm sure it'll be grand.

Lot's of love, kiss the girls for me...

~Bobby