What's Next

So, the fact is, I like writing. My primary outlet for this, over the past year, has been this blog. It was originally started as a means of communicating my whereabouts and wellbeing with friends and family, mainly to bypass the need for multiple phone calls and emails. The posts and journal entries, for the most part, can be categorized in one, or a combination of the following ways: amusing, informational, therapeutic, or cathartic. Most of the posts have been about me and my travels, or me and my observations, or me and my issues. The common theme here, if you hadn't noticed, is me.

At times, I've dreamed about having the talent and determination, and even the subject material or life experience to write something greater than this meager collection of short entries; that I could actually write a whole book (feel free to roll your eyes as needed). Much of what I've written has been inspiring to me. I've looked back on some of the posts, and having forgotten that I'd even written a particular entry, think "Wow, that's really good. I like how I wrote that. I should do more". But, a collection of blog entries about a guy who leaves his safe familiar life for one of uncertainty and adventure (even though it is on his own continent and in his own native tongue), seems somewhat trivial and self serving. Who cares about most of this stuff, anyway? How much navel gazing can one person, as a reader, be expected to endure? And, how many yawns have I inspired in the blogosphere? The posts about what route I took or what I had for breakfast are just filler. For me, the thought that someone out there might be navigating to LuckyCornflake and seeing the same post that has been there for a week and a half, makes me uncomfortable; so I write about whatever. But, what is it about the other posts that make me proud to be the author? Is it that I've written about something beyond myself and more universal to the human condition? Is it even possible to do that without reflecting back on one's self? If it is, I haven't figured out how. I'm still thinking in short posts, just enough to clear the thoughts out of my head to make room for new ones. 

So there it is, what's next? Like so much in my life, I'm aware of my lack of a proper foundation that defines clearly "What's NOW", so I'm constantly wondering "what's next?". What's next is, I head back to the States to wait for my visa and Augsburg residency permit to process. My time has run out on the tourist visa waiver that I'm here on, and I need to get that in order to be able to return. I'll be in the States for at least a month and will need to find gainful employment. Whether dollars or euros, I need some. I'll have more time to brush up on my Deutsch and maybe even write a page or two (I'd also like to learn Salsa dancing - why not?). I need to look outside of myself for most of that, and see what I discover. 

Since being here in Germany, I've learned a great deal about myself, and hopefully that will translate into even better content and a clearer vision, for my writing and for my life. We'll see...

Anyway...from Augsburg, on nice sunny day, Cheers!

~B